Thursday, June 25, 2009

fly...

Imagine...

Diving into a pool of your poison atop mount Olympus...
To fly and dive at the same moment...
To feel the joy of pain and the pain of joy...
To measure the happiness running through every drop of your blood and being pumped through your mighty heart...
To be yet not to be...
To be lost and be found again in the purple haze....
To burn and fade away..
To be high and low...
To run on a lonely road in a crowded city...

IMAGINE...

how wonderful it might have been...

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

..

Smoking is like to be reborn again...
everytime a new perspective...
The numbness...the happiness and finally reality...
and again the sound of the match...

face it...

It is pretty interesting to note how one place or person can change you...

Adaptibility was something we had all read in junior school... the example varied from bears to snakes... but rarely was the example of a human used...

However I think it is us humans who change the most or rather adapt to a particular situation or just changes with the flow...

The paradoxical situations somehow stimulate the inner contradictions of our minds... however the outside or the physical situation often changes to external contradictions.. We try to live up to the expectations of the society we belong to.

College was always a big deal for me. My nerdish relatives wanted me to get into a good colg so that i have a "bright" future... whereas i wanted to get into a good one for various reasons..

Before college, I was an average girl who strived to do well in academics and tried to gather as many certificates as possible.. however hidden deep inside I was a frantic enchained creature trying to attain her freedom..

From a long time I loved to break rules..it gave me immense pleasure.. more so cause i belonged to a convent school where rules were religion!!

.. i started bunking school from class 9.. I smoked my first cig with a friend in class 10, bunking my maths exams cause i was not well prepared.. however as i said before, society and situations forced me to prevail my "goody two shoes" and "lady-like" attitude!!

Then came college and finally the breakthrough.. being educated in a strict all girls convent school, i had forgotten the existence of my self identity. I had been told to tie my hair and walk like a lady and wear skirts that ended at my ankle.. I realised i had an identity crisis, like the other many girls in our city and society do even today. She wore a tic tac clip so i have to do it, she opened her hair, so i gotto do it.. call it wannabe, call it desperate.. in an attempt to adapt we had sacrificed our self identity.

College liberated me... you may call me cliched.. but the truth is today i'm a changed person or rather a free person. People who have seen me in school and and see me now think i'm a wannabe and the many other peculiar lingo's invented by our desperate youth. However change has finally graced me. I retained my self identity, the ability to stand up and scream "You are wrong". The ability to think, to speak and to do.

Why the hell should i make a retard of myself to be a part of the so called privileged society..

I have finally adapted...adapted to my self.. to the real me...

I owe you this one JU!!

Thanks...

:)

Saturday, June 13, 2009